Friday, March 30, 2007

King Rorik

At an SCA event sometime last year I first heard the story (or rather, a version of the story - there are many) of King Rorik at Pennsic. The next day the first version of the chorus popped into my head, along with about half the lyrics and the base tune.

I should note that I have heard versions that put King Rorik on the side of the East, versions that had him offer his services to one side, be rejected, and join the other side, versions with slightly more or less men... it's the SCA, we don't do detailed impartial record keeping.

I'm still working on it, but I've performed it twice now to generally positive audiences, so its time it appeared on the World Wide Web.

Upon the field of battle are great tales of valor borne
Of knights so brave and squires true
Of banners raised or torn
Unto the field of Pennsic War there came a mighty lord
King Rorik was his noble name
And thirty men his hoard.

An Tir! He shouted loudly
An Tir! He called our proudly
An Tir! King Rorik came
With thirty men behind him.

King Rorik came to Midrealm's King and said what shall we do?
I've come to fight and to have fun
My men want glory too
But Midrealm's King was not impressed by thirty men, nor King
He said "just go and fight someone
Of you they'll never sing"

An Tir! He shouted loudly
An Tir! He called our proudly
An Tir! King Rorik went
With thirty men behind him.

Poor King Rorik was so sad, his crown did all but droop
Until a lady rallied him
He went to lead his troop
He led his men into the trees but no one could they find
He split his force into three parts
"On now!" With seven men behind

An Tir! He shouted loudly
An Tir! He called our proudly
An Tir! King Rorik went
With seven men behind him.

Now in a grove of trees he stands, the base of a small hill
He looks up to the top and says
"Next thing we see, we kill!"
Their patience is rewarded by the site of banner then
Now o'er the crest a shieldwall comes
Two hundred fifty men

An Tir! He shouted loudly
An Tir! He called our proudly
An Tir! King Rorik stood
With seven men behind him.

[Verse added 8/22/07]
Two hundred fifty men 'gainst eight may seem a little much
But our great King was not the kind
To think of odds and such
He ordered all his men to give a great shout of "An Tir!"
Then up the hill he led the charge
He'd never heard of fear.

An Tir! He shouted loudly
An Tir! He called our proudly
An Tir! King Rorik CHARGED!
With seven men behind him.

The soldiers of the Eastrealm are not given much to fear
Yet so loudly did those eight men shout
An army must be near
The banners of the East now turned, before eight men they fled
"The entire Midrealm Army's here!
King Rorik's at their head!"

An Tir! He shouted loudly
An Tir! He called our proudly
An Tir! King Rorik charged
With seven men behind him.

Now o'er the hill our heroes charge, King Rorik at the fore
And on the other side they see
At least three hundred more
But those three hundred men have heard the shouting of "An Tir!"
They see their comrades flee in dread
And turn to face the rear

An Tir! He shouted loudly
An Tir! He called our proudly
An Tir! King Rorik charged
With seven men behind him.

Five hundred men now flee before the wrath of great An Tir
Until someone looks back and says
"There's only eight men here"
The banners of the East return, the shieldwall they restore
It doesn't matter to our king
"We routed them before!"

An Tir! He shouted loudly
An Tir! He called our proudly
An Tir! King Rorik CHARGED!
With seven men behind him.

AN TIR! He shouted loudly
AN TIR He called our proudly
AN TIR! King Rorik charged...
With seven men behind him.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

A Question

What would you do if you could do one thing without any consequences?

Would you tell a secret you've been afraid to tell?

Would you do something illegal?

What if it were something that was really, really bad. Does wanting to do it make you a bad person? Or does the fact that you don't do it make you a good person in the "without temptation there can be no virtue" way? Or does the fact that you want to do it but only don't because of the fear of consequences make you a bad person?

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Resolved

Time for some resolutions.

I will get back into shape.

I will complete, or at least bring to an end, my fanfic.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Sleeping with people you know

Last night's episode of Grey's Anatomy got me wondering - when is it a good idea to sleep with someone you consider a friend?

OK, George-Izzy was a Bad Thing. George is married, and both of them were far too drunk to be thinking clearly.

But suppose that George hadn't met Callie. Suppose George and Izzy got a little buzzed, kissed each other... and then had the "you meant it several times" bit. Would that have been a good thing for them? For either of them?

If you get into a romantic and/or sexual relationship with someone early, that can work. But can a friendship turn in to a sexual and/or romantic relationship? Is there some time limit?

Do you ever really get over people? Do you ever know someone you had a sexual relationship with is having one with someone else and not get at all jealous?

You can be a little jealous about someone you're no longer with and still have a good relationship with someone else, but what if you're more than a little jealous?

What is the right thing for Izzy to do? A lot of those looks weren't the looks of someone who had sex with someone and completely regrets it. Part of her, at least, wants George right now. Is it right for her to abandon those feelings?

George is in a different case. We know he feels terrible, of course, but he's married. He took an oath. He either needs to talk it over with Callie, or forget it ever happened.

But what should Izzy do?

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Time for a rant

I don't intend for this to be a ranting blog, but I will do this occasionally. I expect there will be some humor in these posts, admittedly usually dark humor. People who've been in public safety seem to be able to laugh at darker humor than most others, IME.

One of my co-workers went to the site clinic today with chest pain. They told him it was probably stress related, and that he should try to reduce his stress level.

I always get highly annoyed when the medical establishment says something like that. "You should reduce your stress level." "So, I should quit my job?"

Admittedly, only about a quarter of my own stress comes from work, but that quarter is also the only part I really have any control over. The rest is a function of being alive. Granted I imagine dead people have rather lower stress levels, but I somehow don't think that's a good option either.

I want some way to stop growing hair where I don't want it (for example, my chin) and grow it where I actually do want it (the top of my head).

I want to know things. I always want to know how the story ends, who's interested in who, how things work, why things happen. I even want to understand the ordering system at work! To me not knowing is the worst thing. Learning something unpleasant can be painful, but I've yet to learn anything that I felt was worse than the suspense of not knowing it. I guess it is an integral function versus a diminishing quadratic - over enough time, the integral will still win even if its a low-level constant.

I'm using math to describe my emotional state. I'm reminded of a campus EMT I knew who once told me that the third derivative of his life was improving. Perhaps it is a sign of my geekiness that I immediately understood him.

I can't make the people I want to be happy be happy. I need to be able to do that. I wasn't much of a medic and I'm not much of an engineer; if I can't be a good person what's the point? Being a jack of all trades and a master of none just doesn't seem to be useful these days.

I keep thinking on the things I'll never know the answer to - those bother me the most, usually. I'll never know what would have happened if only I'd _____. Would things have been better? Worse? Not really any different? Could I have kept her alive? Would I have become a good medic? Did she mean it? Did he know? Would I still have Dawntreader?

Maybe I need to go shooting again. There's something incredibly relaxing about destroying an innocent piece of paper. Sparring is good too, but it isn't advisable to just let yourself go in attacking someone - even with protective gear, people get hurt, and if you injure people they tend to get very unreasonable and not want to spar with you again. Silly people. What are a few broken bones between friends? Computer games let me get rid of some stress too, but there's only so long I can play a given game, and I tend to get lost in them and forget to do other things. Like, historically, eat, sleep, go to class, go to work... bad things happen.

Sex can relieve a huge amount of stress, but the activities that surround sex often seem to cause more stress than the sex relieves. And, of course, anything that requires another person's cooperation is harder to do than something you can do on your own.

I miss having the time to write, too. I ground to a halt on my last story on a reef of overtime. I feel bad because I let people down, but I don't know how to fix it.

That's a recurring theme; I know what is wrong, I DON'T know how to fix it. I hate that. I'm a licenced paramedic and a degreed engineer. I got medical command and a patent. I'm SUPPOSED to be good at analysing problems and coming up with solutions.

Time to end the debate

I see in the news this morning that earlier this month the BBC aired "The Great Global Warming Swindle" - a number of scientists (and others) claiming that global warming is not caused by people (the CO2/temperature relationship is, in fact, a cause and effect, but the temperature causes the warming, not the other way around).

So, in this corner we have a politician claiming that he has proof that the human race is going to destroy the planet it occupies, and in the other, we have a journalist claiming that he has proof that the politician is wrong. Wow, there's a tough call. All we need is a lawyer and we'll have all three classes of people you should never trust.

Who do I believe? Oddly enough, niether of them. I don't believe anyone has PROVED anything yet.

To me (granted, I'm an engineer, not a scientist), the essence of scientific 'proof' is the single-variable experiment. You take a system and do exactly the same things to it twice except for a single factor that you change. Performed carefully and/or with sufficient repetition, you gain knowledge of what effect that factor has on the system. Generally you call the system you ran without that factor the "control."

So there's a huge problem with anyone who claims to have proved any cause/effect relationship (or lack thereof in many cases) with regard to the Earth.

We have no control for our experiment.

I think it is high time we conducted a proper experiment for global warming. Let's go find some planets that are very like Earth. After all, there are a few hundred billion stars in this galaxy alone, and all we need is a few dozen that are like our sun and have earth-like planets. We settle on, say, half a dozen of these planets and produce a varied level of CO2 emissions on each one, carefully leaving a few unpopulated as controls.

In a hundred years or so, we can look at the temperature changes on the various planets, and we can begin our analysis.

If you think this is far-fetched, try taking a sober look at what the alarmists want to do to our economy, or the idea to launch hundreds of thousands of rockets to put a distributed umbrella between us and the sun.

Remember that while the experts still disagree on whether we are able to destroy our ecology, we are quite able to destroy our economy.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Flying Solo

I've been writing this poem on and off for almost ten years now. Most of the time it has been publicly available somewhere - now it is here. The formatting has gotten a little crazed over the various transfers from text file to system file to html to word to text file to... you get the idea.

Flying solo

You feel the winds
You scale the skies
You know freedom
You know eternity
But when the day is done
and night commands its tithe
You struggle on unaided
For you are pilot, helm and nav.
You take command
You take control
You take the lead
You take the rear
But every time you turn
and while the night descends
You find yourself a beacon
Alone against the flames.
You find your love
You find your dream
You hear her voice
You see her face
But she does not return
and night is only memories
Your voice screams out alone
Though she will never hear.
You run to help
You run to save
You reach the scene
You reach for Hell
But they will never thank you
and no one will remember
The night you lost your hope
The innocence drowned in pain.
You fight the night
You fight the fear
You fight for hope
You fight for truth
But you can never beat them
nor even truly hurt them
Night goes ever ever on
You will someday die.
You wish upon a star
You wish upon a name
You call upon a hope
You call upon a soul
The souls that seek you out
seeking help, sending help
Night can’t drown them out
However much you beg.
You close your eyes
You hide your heart
You cloak your dream
You end your hope
But fate can always see
And always bides its time
At night it comes again
Bringing nightmare dreams.
You sense the past
You see it come
You try to hide
You try to run
But the past can still ensnare
Your future past to show
The nights that could have been
The lights that never were.
You feel the clouds
You scale the stars
You touch the moon
You touch your heart
But no one will record it
and night demands its tithe
You struggle on unnoticed
For you are all alone.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

A little less meaningful, a little more useful

Yesterday my eight-plus year old PDA wiped its memory. Oh, I've got most of it backed up, but it still felt like an end, and to me an end is always a begining.

So, in the spirit of beginnings, it is time to tell the world what I think and feel, whether it is listening or not.

I intend to post a lot of different things here. Songs and poems I've written, my opinions on various subjects, my feelings (particularly venting my anger and frustration), and just what is going on.

I'm not going to tell anyone about this blog for a while. Some people I know are quite smart enough to find it on their own, if they want to.

In closing for now, the wisest and most relevant words ever written:

This too shall pass.

And so it begins

Who are you?

A question I find it difficult to answer. My name is insufficient; a partial answer at best. My occupation is better: I am an engineer. Of course I am also a fencer, archer, singer, modeler, gamer, medic... This question is one I am still trying to answer.

What do you want?

I want to see Earthrise. I want people to care about me as much as I care about them. I want children, someday, and to be a good parent to them. I want to swim with dolphins. I want many other things, too. This isn't a question that can be fully answered, but those are some of the biggest things. Some of the things I want I don't even like admitting to myself.

Why are you here?

Well, right now I'm at work, because they pay me. But that's dodging the question. I have no idea why I'm here. Am I part of some unbelievably large joke? A battery for a giant computer? A self-directing intelligence interacting freely with other such intelligences for no grand reason at all? I find the last the most frightening.

Where are you going?

Insane. Well, yes, but "wherever I feel that I am most needed" is a better answer. Where am I most needed, then? I wish I knew.

Who do you serve, and who do you trust?

I serve the Constitution of the United States of America, which is not the same as the government. I serve myself. I serve my friends and family. I trust... very little. I would like to trust a lot of people, but trust to me also means reliance. I feel that I have very few people I can rely on, and they are all far away.