From the Highlands

“No really, Officer, I was rubbing alcohol all over my body – the man in the green skirt told me to!”

But we’ll come back to that.

This past weekend I went to the Highland Games in Skagit (just one of several around here – I wonder if there are more Scots in Scotland or in the Pacific Northwest?) Originally I was going to help out with the SCA demo, but I had a garb failure – I only have two SCA shirts, and one was on loan and one was too stained for a demo. I went anyway, though, because opportunities to see men throw small trees around are few.

There was, indeed, much throwing of 17 foot logs (women only have to throw a 14 foot log – not mocking, I doubt I could get a ten footer to flip end over end). There were also sheepdog trials (mostly border collies: “11:00AM: Sheep! My favorite thing!”), highland dancing (with and without swords), and many other appropriately Scottish pastimes. Such as bagpipes. Lots of bagpipes. I went to Carnegie Mellon, one of only two places in the world you can get a degree in bagpipes, and I’m pretty sure that’s the most pipes I’ve ever seen in one place. I think the massed bands must have fielded 60 or so (plus three pipe majors and a host of drummers). I actually got to the point where the pipes faded into the background, since between the ten or so pipe bands practicing and competing plus the various soloists there was pipe music pretty much all day long.

I’m mostly, however, going to talk about food and drink.

Now, at a Highland Games in the US I don’t expect much haggis (a little, to be sure, but not a lot). However, when stands selling not just non-Scottish, but other cultural food outnumber the ones selling things from the British Isles, something is wrong. Ice cream? Soda? Pizza? American fair food, unexceptional at any outdoor event. Gyros? Quesadillas? Not so much. There was only ONE stand selling meat pies (quite good ones, in fact – I had three different ones over the course of the weekend), and that was also the only place selling haggis. Curly fries (not even called chips!), were more in evidence. Still, the meat pies were quite good. I was not adventurous enough to try the haggis. Did I mention the meat pies were good? Perhaps none of the other vendors in past years could make a meat pie to compete, and so the stand represented not a regrettable lack of taste, but the triumph of capitalism. Probably not, but hey…

Ah, drink. Now, when you think “drink” and “Scotland” you probably think of Scotch Whiskey pretty quickly. And so you should! While not a connoisseur I do consider myself an enthusiastic student, so I couldn’t pass up the whiskey tasting. I am truly glad I made sure to get in. First off, the whiskey was tasty. Laphroaig (the primary whiskey present and the sponsoring distillery) is not my first choice, but as an occasional novelty it was nice. There were two Laphroaigs (one a ten year old), both very definitely single malts, an Ardmore (also a malt I’m pretty sure), and a Kilbaggen (Irish). But the organizer, a man with the title of Master Ambassador for Laphroaig, was the real star of the event. He mixed in history, humor, tips on getting the most out of a tasting in general, and a gentle pitch for Laphroaig’s products in particular, in a half-hour stand up show in which the whiskeys were woven smoothly. Yes, the opening line of this post is from him – turns out that there is more than one way to check the flavor of whiskey. One unusual way (done by master distillers who need to check many casks in a day), is to:
1. Put your hand over the top of the glass (get a good seal)
2. Shake the glass up and down, wetting your hand
3. Place the glass down, and rapidly rub your palms together until they feel warm. This gets rid of the alcohol.
4. Cup your hands in front of your nose and take a good deep breath – mouth open.
5. IMPORTANT! Prior to operating motor vehicles, wash your hands, or you may find yourself back at the opening line, above. (Explaining that it was really a kilt, Clan Roberts IIRC, may or may not help matters.)

One more bit I found particularly amusing is that there is apparently a law in the US that barrels used to age bourbon whiskey can only be used for that purpose once. Laphroaig and other distillers in Scotland are quite pleased by this, since it creates a supply of used-once barrels which are perfect for aging Scotch (a brand-new barrel puts harsher flavors into the whiskey).

OK, two more bits. Next time you hear someone order a drink “on the rocks”, remember that the phrase had its start back in the highlands of Scotland, where the distillers ran their stills by the mountain streams. Prior to sampling the quite hot output of the stills, they would pour it over a rock pulled out of the stream to cool it. Today this has come full-circle with custom-cut “whiskey stones” which are to be kept in your freezer until use.

Everything old is new again.