Scotland Day 4

Scotland is famous for many things. Kilts, Nessie, and bagpipes all get their turns in the spotlight, and deserve their time.

Today, however, we’re going to talk about something Scotland really puts their mark on the world with: whiskey.

It is said that God created beer so the Irish wouldn’t take over the world. If so he created whiskey because beer wasn’t going to be enough to hold back the Scots.

Today I took a long, winding, multi-legged journey to the Isle of Islay (yes, that translates to “the island of island”) mostly in order to take a distillery tour of Laphroaig. Perhaps I should say “The Distillery Tour” or give it its formal (and deserved) name to distinguish it from all lesser tours: The Water to Whiskey Experience.

Now, Islay malts are not my preferred substyle of the Scotch Malt Whiskey family. I mostly go for Speysides and Lowlands. Laphroaig, however, is something of an exception despite or perhaps because they are often considered the most extreme of the Islay malts. Also, loyal readers may remember my discussion of the Highland Games last year, specifically the whiskey tasting I did there. That humorous and educational event was run by Laphroaig, and was the driving force behind my decision to do the tour.

First, however, I had to get to Laphroaig, which meant first getting to Islay. I could have flown. Islay has an airport, and there are regular puddle-jumper flights from Glasgow airport. However while I do not hate British airport security anywhere near as much as the TSA, I’m not fond of them either. Also there was the cost, the need to check a bag coming back just for whiskey, etc. I decided to drive and take the ferry.

In the US, we have this idea that speed limit signs should be large, explicit, and regular. The United Kingdom believes they should be small, numerical only (just “50” not “Speed Limit 50”), and that you only need one per road. Once you’re on the road they will put up a sign if the speed limit drops, but then just have a symbol-only sign that means ‘resume speed’ without telling you what speed you should resume TO. For 60 miles they will do this. Not one single sign to indicate the ‘baseline’ speed appears anywhere.

They also have this thing about narrow roads. Not only are the roads narrow, they have curbs at the edges even when there is no reason for a curb. Put a lorry and a car on a narrow road approaching each other at a combined speed of 100mph and the lack of a margin for error becomes a matter of some concern. I did not hit any other vehicles, but I did kiss the curb a few times, which really gets your heart working when you do it at 50mph.

But I will happily send US engineers over to teach them about speed limit signs and shoulders if they will send a few back here, for there is one thing they do that we really should too: when a traffic light is about to turn green, it first flashes the yellow light once. This gives the stick-shifters time to get in gear, or the driver time to put his drink down, etc.

I arrived at the ferry terminal in good time, however, and the drive was very scenic. Got some shots of sunrise over Loch Lomond, a few more of mountains, valleys, and such. I don’t think it was technically the Highlands but it certainly gave a nice feel. The Irish Sea ferries share some traits with their cousins on Puget Sound but have articulated bows and stern ramps rather than being flat double-enders like the Sound ferries. They also have nicer seating. Oddly passengers are prohibited on the car deck while the ship is at sea (again unlike the Sound ferries). The crossing was smooth and uneventful.

Islay has a total population of some 4,000 and an area of several hundred square miles. With most of the population in two towns it is unsurprising that many of the roads are single lane (not one lane each way, one lane TOTAL) or lane-and-a-half. Stone walls on either side are not uncommon. This can make three cars into a major traffic jam. I’m surprised there is enough traffic between the island and the mainland for merit multiple ferry trips per day, but there demonstrably is (full ferries or close to it both ways).

Laphroaig has a sense of humor. Detailed signs explain to the “Friends of Laphroaig” how to go claim their square foot of land – including a reminder to bring a copy of War and Peace in case cattle are crossing the road and how to signal for a tractor if they need to be winched out of the bog. Laphroaig owns quite a bit of land, including its source water – the first stop on the tour. They served us a picnic lunch (VERY tasty and filling), get us a dram of 10 year old, and let us cut it with the very water used to make it (how often do you get to do that?). Most of us also got another dram for the walk back to the road. The guide then drove us over to the peat bog where they get their peat. Each of us got to cut some peat (I do not have a future as a peat cutter), and we were rewarded with a dram of cask strength… and a bit extra. ;-) If you ever visit a peat bog, have someone a few feet away jump up and down. You will be able to feel their landing through the ground very easily.

After this we got an in-depth tour of the plant, following every step of the process. Malting floor, cooking and smoking, fermenting, etc., etc. We got to taste the ‘beer’ (fermented but not yet distilled) which was the best beer I’ve ever had, and in fact the first I’ve found superior to water. Sadly they do not sell it. We got to throw a hunk of peat on the fire to smoke the malt, and to taste the malt itself at several stages. A few more drams of whiskey were included as well.

The final stop in the tour is a selection of three casks (that day they had a 1998, a 1999, and a two-thousand-something). You taste from each cask, then get to fill a bottle from your favorite to take home. Three single cask, cask strength, aged ten years give or take to choose from – quite the party favor! I will talk more about cask strength later, but I will note that not only is the alcohol stronger, the flavor is as well. It is not overwhelming, however; it is IMO easier to pick out the subtle sub-flavors. I chose the 1999, and was quite pleased to be able to take some home. Luckily they DO sell cask strength in the US, though single cask will be hard to find at best. Speaking of exporting whiskey, did you know Sweden drinks up a huge amount of the total percentage of Scotch that is exported? This despite a population a tiny fraction the size of the US.

From Laphroaig, you can see Ireland on a clear day. Or, as in my case, a clear enough day. This makes Ireland one of the few countries I can say I’ve seen in person but not been to.

Last, but not least, Islay has a very old Celtic stone cross. Surrounded by sheep on this visit - including a ram I had something of a staring contest with.

The journey was not easy, but the tour was more than worth it.