Charlie on the MTA

I used to live in Boston, and you can't live in Boston without riding the MBTA (subways, light rail, and buses) at some point. Growing up I had many of the lines memorized, and dropped tokens and changed lines with perfect confidence.

I also had one other thing memorized: a song called "Charlie on the MTA", about a guy who gets trapped on a subway when he can't pay a new "exit fee."

In an odd burst of bureaucratic humor, the MBTA recently went from their metal tokens to plastic cards you can swipe and refill. They are called: Charlie Cards. :-)

While I was at CMU, I filked Charlie in the MTA, inspired by the "Underground Tour" of steam tunnels and such done annually by the KGB. Scansion is more or less hit-and-miss (I wrote it at the last minute for a talent show), but I think it is worth preserving.

Now let me tell you the story,
Of a CMU tour group
Said "We'll take a tour today!"
They put maps into their pockets
Went to Warner Hall
And they never were seen again!

Chorus:
Now did they ever return?
No, they never returned,
And their fate is still unlearned!
They may walk forever,
'Neath the paths of campus
They're the group that never returned!

Now the tour guide came over
And said "Follow me"
And they went to Doherty
They went into a sub-basement
Through a strange old door
And they never were seen again!

Chorus
So did they ever return...

For the tourguide was a freshman
And all he knew had come from the KGB
He knew the entrance to the tunnels
And the exits too
But not what's in between!

Chorus
And did they ever return...

Now ye students of Carnegie
As you walk cross campus
Over paths, or underground
If you find the missing tour group
Be their guide!
And get the tour group back to Warner Hall!

Chorus
For did they ever return?...